With year-on-year shootings steadily increasing throughout America, the government has bowed to pressure and moved to tackle the environmental impact of this ongoing carnage. We have reached a point in our collective history where something needs to be done, said a White House spokesperson. There were in excess of 60,000 incidents last year involving the discharging of a firearm and we need to ensure that every effort is being made to re-use as much of that ammunition as possible.
Full details of how this will be achieved are yet to be confirmed, but early proposals include installing recycling banks inside operating theatres and co-ordinating lead collection drives during school shooting aftermaths.
The spokesperson avoided being drawn on the topic of alternative solutions, dismissing the idea that reducing gun ownership could save both ammunition and lives as utterly absurd.