WASHINGTON Vice President Mike Pence
unveiled a new outreach program to educate citizens surrounding the
dangers of post-marital sex during a White House press conference
As a devoted Christian, I believe abstinence-only sex education
offers the moral guidance we need and that our duty to abstain from
temptation doesnt simply end with marriage, said Pence, avoiding
eye contact with every woman in the room. I recommend adult couples
find alternative activities to express affection: things like
studying scripture, playing Boggle, or protesting Planned
The announcement follows recent research from Brigham Young
University, which found post-marital sex is a prominent factor in
leading married women to seek abortions.
The evidence shows fornication between a married couple can lead
to a lack of moral fiber, the termination of a pregnancy, or, worst
of all, a beautiful, young child being adopted by a sinful gay
couple, said Pence. Marriage should be about demonstrating a love
of God the couple should only come together to discuss their love
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders reiterated
some of Pences key points at a briefing later in the day.
The Vice President knows some couples will find abstinence
difficult, but he wants you to remember that intercourse will never
provide the closeness or satisfaction gained by a knowing nod
shared between husband and wife, fully clothed from separate beds,
said Sanders. And you know what? Hes right. Post-marital sex led
directly to my three children, of whom I am both proud and
The Vice President admitted that, in the past, he had been
tempted by [his] own filthy impulses, the lying media, and even
[his] own wife, Karen Pence.
Post-marital sex is a slippery slope even with the holiest of
intentions. You might start out doing the act through a hole in the
sheet, exchanging bible verses, eyes closed and imagining Christs
ripped, sweaty abdominal muscles, just as God intended, said Pence,
clutching a bible in each hand. Before you know it, you and your
wife could feel the need to engage in sexual activity for reasons
other than reproduction: like pleasure, or mutual attraction. It
makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Karen Pence was not available for comment, as she was
sequestered for her monthly unclean days.
The post Mike Pence Speaks Out Against Post-marital Sex
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